Not for children!

I feel that there should be some kind of disclaimer to this blog entry, but I honestly don't know where to start. This material is definitely not meant for the eyes of children or those who are against bad language or poor spelling - lol

To my beloved parents, please forgive me, but these signs just cracked me up. To my friends, please make sure you are not eating or drinking when you read these crazy signs since it could cause damage to your computer equipment.

These are all signs found in China. My spoken or written Chinese will never be anywhere close to this good, but I certainly hope it is never this literal...

Enjoy!

Now I know why none of the toilets have toilet paper, I have been using the wrong thing all my life, I should have been using memos or information papers.

I never knew this was even a real word, but someone in China did. It is amazing what you learn, even at my age. Here is a word I use all the time, yet I never knew it's origins.


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It was originally British English, possibly public school slang, at least according to Barrère and Leland’s Dictionary of Slang of 1889. From there it dispersed to other parts of the former British Empire, but it is less well known in the US, I believe.
Its source is usually taken to be the much older bum-fodder. The sense was the one that you give, of useless or tedious printed information or documents — material whose only conceivable use was to be torn up, hung up on a nail in the privy and used as toilet paper. The full term was first recorded in the period of the Commonwealth in Britain, about 1650 — I remember seeing a political pamphlet of about that date which uses the word in its title. Its first recorded appearance is in 1651, in the first volume of Sir Thomas Urquhart’s translation of the works of Rabelais. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, it was probably derived from the classical Latin anitergium, arse-wiper.
The slang abbreviation bumf originally had a literal sense of toilet paper, but quickly shifted its meaning back to the original. The usual spelling is bumf but bumph is not unknown.


Seen in a restroom


This is some kind of hair product...


Information and tips from the local police


I admit I have no clue what this is about


The mind boggles...


This sounds like a local version of Doritos, can't say I will be trying them soon


Those literal translations are the best


This just about killed me - they cannot be serious


Now I know that it seems like I am mocking China's use of the English language, but honestly I have nothing but a great respect for China. I hope that my attempts at Chinese come somewhere close to their understanding and use of the English language. I could spend years here, but I know I will never master Mandarin even in my wildest dreams.

I adore living here and still cannot believe my childhood dream is now a reality. How did I get to be so lucky?