What a weekend?

It has been a whirlwind weekend filled with activity and tons of fun. The weekend started with the kids and me spending the morning hanging out at home. This is unusual in that normally Saturday is my day to sleep in. However with Richard in Israel, I was on morning duty. Anyone that knows me knows that I do not do mornings. My poor, poor children, they had to deal with cranky, tired mom. Anyway, little did they know that even thought the morning sucked, the afternoon was going to be fun. One of the larger international schools (where my good friend Cathy Sue is a teacher) was holding their Holiday Bazaar. This has become a highlight of the holiday season and it really did not disappoint. I actually believe that every Expat in Shanghai was in attendance – it was packed with people. The funny thing was that even though we have only been here 4 months, I already knew so many of them. It actually felt very comforting and it was hard to believe we are in the middle of China, as carols were being sung and we were surrounded by Christmas spirit.

Everything you could want was there – Christmas wreaths, nativity scenes, handmade gifts of all kinds, candles, stockings, cotton candy, popcorn and tons of yummy food. The kids were in heaven, but little did they know there was even more fun planned. After doing a quick run around to see what was on offer, we grabbed a bite to eat and then headed for the special place.

The special place was a chance to meet Santa and tell him exactly what they wanted this Christmas. With our upcoming trip to the UK this year, I think the kids were a little worried that Santa would mess up and deliver their gifts to the wrong address. I can now report that Santa is fully aware of where they will be and what they need him to bring. We managed to get a nice photo for the scrapbook complete with the mandatory Chinese misspelling in the greeting – It says Mreey X-Mas, it true Chinese style. When I get a chance I will share the official photo - but here are a couple I took from the sidelines.




Cadence did not want her photo taken, but with the promise of cotton candy she will do almost anything - in the official picture she has a big smile. Immediately she returned from Santa’s lap she was heading for the door and that candy stand. We headed home and decided to walk back since there were no taxi’s in sight. We made it half way there before a lone taxi arrived and we were able to catch a ride. Caught up in the spirit of Christmas, I stopped by the dvd store and picked up Christmas in Wonderland for us to watch after dinner. I am mentioning this to for warn anyone who may be thinking of buying or seeing this movie to avoid it like the plaque. It has to be the WORST movie I have ever seen in my entire life. It was terrible; there are just no words to describe it. I paid 10 rmb for it (about $1.50) and I have to say I was robbed. It was not worth one cent of that price.

Sunday started way early- 6.30am when Hansen decided he would wake the whole family with his singing. I stumbled out of bed to find him laying on the couch in the family room singing to himself. No this kid should know by now that 6.30am is not a time to be awake on a Sunday, especially when his Dad is not home. I was less than thrilled, but managed to snooze on and off while he watched a movie and until 8.30am when the girls woke up. The whole day was spent counting down the hours first till Richard was due home, then until Aimee and I headed to the airport to pickup our good friends Mary and her daughter Olivia ‘Livie’, and then finally until 4pm when we were due at Cathy Sue’s home for a good old Thanksgiving Dinner.

Aimee and I headed to the airport around 3pm to meet Mary, and Rich and the kids made their own way to the TG dinner. After a slight hiccup at the airport (where I told our driver we were supposed to be at terminal 1), we made a mad dash to Terminal 2, where Mary and Livie had just landed. Thankfully, they had to wait a while for their bags, so were none the wiser that we had been running around like loonies. It was so wonderful to see them come through the doors. Mary has been an incredible friend to me over the past 4 years and I miss her terribly now we are here in Shanghai. I am so looking forward to our trip together, I know we are going to have a lot of fun. We all jumped in the car and headed straight for Cathy Sue’s. Poor Mary and Livie looked exhausted, but they made it through the dinner and we all had a great time. It really did not feel like we were in China at all. Looking around the room, I felt that I have a lot to be thankful for; great friends from all over the world, an incredible family, an awesome husband and tons of yummy food. What more could a girl want?


The reason he looks so mad is that one of the girls took away his 2nd Barbie doll!!!

THE BEST CAT VIDEO YOU'LL EVER SEE

Okay, I should so be in bed fast asleep, but I am still up watching YouTube!

I doubted this video really could liveup to the title,but I cracked up laughing at so many of these clips. Absolutely priceless.

Roomba Driver

This is way too cute!

Long Overdue

Another thing I wanted to blog about and have just never gotten around to it, is telling everyone how amazing my beloved husband is. In a world filled with uncertainty, he is a steadying rock. I don’t often say much about him that is nice, but I have to say that I am so proud of him, I could burst at times. One such time was a week or so ago. Richard went to work more sharply dressed than usual. Don’t get me wrong, even in the world of business casual, he is the one always wearing dress pants (trousers) a long sleeved shirt and tie, and since the weather has gotten cooler, he often sports a suit jacket too.

Well anyway, he looked particularly dapper this one morning and when I asked why, he reminded me that he was being presented with a long service certificate from General Motors that afternoon (I am such a bad wife I had forgotten all about it). In this crazy, mixed up world of ours there are very few people who are lucky enough to have a job, let alone get a long service notice. I am so proud of Richard. He works so hard for our family and often makes sacrifices to keep both GM and me happy. Although, I am sure I work him harder than GM any day. They are much more sympathetic and understanding than I am.

So how long has he worked for GM, I hear you ask? That is the incredible thing. He started with them in 1983….. Yes, 25 years!!!! I can’t believe he is old enough to have worked for anyone that long. Gosh, I still think we are 25 on a good day, closer to 85 on a bad one.

What an achievement! – 25 years with the same company. Richard works hard and long, but he still loves GM, probably more now than ever. We are so thankful for everything they do for our family, but most of all we are thankful for the opportunities we have through them. We have seen some incredible places, achieved some impossible dreams and have a quality of life that I wish everyone could enjoy. Times are tough for everyone right now, GM included. We know that tough decisions have to be made and belts need to be tightened and I hope that Richard is able to work for GM for many more years to come. Although, of course I am sure that he would like to retire before then next 25 years are over.

Richard, I know you NEVER read this blog (and really why should you, you know what is happening in the World of We5Chois? ), but if you ever do get a chance to take a peak at my midnight ramblings, just know I love you beyond measure. You are one of my true heroes and I am so proud to be your wife and to have you as my best friend. I don’t say it enough, but I love and adore you. Congratulations honey!


This is a great photo of Richard being greeted by General Motors' Chairman, Rick Wagoner. I would love to tell you that Rick is thanking Richard for 25 years of hard work and dedication to GM, but sadly it is not the case. This photo was taken back in September, when Rick was in Shanghai. He is actually saying, Oh you too, are here now!

Only in China....

So I have to write this down before I forget. There are so many little things that make living in China interesting.

One such thing happened this morning at the local grocery store. On arriving at one of the big supermarkets Carrefour, (which is like the Chinese version of Walmart/Asda), I was in desperate need of the restroom (toilet). Anyone that has traveled through China knows all about the squatty potties and you can rest assured that public restrooms in the grocery store are in a league of their own.


This is an example - but note that it is extremely clean and fresh looking. The ones in use around China do not look like this normally.

Anyway, being kinda desperate I headed straight for the bathroom. I was disheartened to see that I was 4th in line waiting, behind two middle aged Chinese ladies and a young twenty-something girl. Oh man! But wait… I see an open stall, with a western style toilet, why are they not using that one? Okay, maybe there is something wrong with it (eeeww! - it’s best not to get too close sometimes). So I continue to wait (after all I am British and we are known for our love of waiting in lines). A minute or two passes and then yay, someone flushes a toilet and a thirty-something exits yet another western style stall. But the ladies in front of me don’t move a muscle. What? Do they need to go? What are they waiting for? Come on, I need to pee! So I wait the polite 10 seconds and then push my way past them to the now open stall. No one bats an eyelid. I do what I need to and I exit, only to find a line of maybe 5 Chinese women waiting, including the original 3. The other western toilet is still free with the door wide open, but no, the 5 ladies are waiting for the squatty potty. How bizarre? They would rather wait in line longer than use a regular, western style toilet. I couldn’t believe it. As I washed my hands in the freezing cold water (there is never any hot), 2 ladies came out of the other stalls and 2 new ladies went in. So I was right, they really did need to go, but would not use the ‘normal’ toilet. Only in China would this happen. I had to call Richard to tell him the news. He seems to think this is perfectly understandable since probably the Chinese are more comfortable using the squatty and probably think we are strange, and unhygienic for actually coming in contact with the toilet seat. I still think it is bizarre, but as Rich says we wait in line for the western toilet, so why wouldn’t the Chinese wait for the Chinese toilet? He is so darn reasonable sometimes. I am sure he does it to annoy me ;-)

Something to remember in these hard times

BY MITCH ALBOM
FREE PRESS COLUMNIST
November 16, 2008

Every day I have less

In my bank account.

Every day I grow scared

As my losses mount.

Every day there is less

To the house that I own

And the equity in it

Like the wind, has blown.

Every day I see less

On my bottom line.

Every day something worsens

That used to be fine.

Every day in my family

There's worry and stress.

Where we once dreamed of more

We now do with less.

Every day I hear stories

Of a company's worth

Sinking to levels

From before my birth.

And places I shopped

Are now closing their doors.

Big firms I grew up with

Are big firms no more.

Every day I have less

Of a once strong sensation

That the leaders we choose

Are good for our nation.

Every day I think less

Of a boss I respected

Who parachutes out

With his own butt protected.

Every day I see less

Of the country I knew

Of the dreams we encouraged

Under red, white and blue.

Instead I see signs

Of foreclosure and sale

And people afraid

Of what comes in the mail.

I see layoffs and cutbacks

No help for the needy

As billions are given

To the powered and greedy.

And this news, it is endless

It burrows so deep.

It shadows my waking

It's haunting my sleep.

Yet every day I have less

I cannot ignore it.

Something grows clearer

That wasn't before it.

If I still have a job

I am luckier than some.

If I still have my house

It is better than none.

If I still have my wits

There are mouths I can feed.

If I still have my family

What more do I need?

If I still have my health

I am mercifully blessed.

If I think I have little

Someone has less.

Every day I discover

More mercy in me.

Every day I find out

Who my true friends will be.

Every day that I stumble

Or say, "I can't do it!"

Is a day I discover

With God's grace, I get through it.

So I learn a new lesson

If I keep a new score

That every day I have less

May be a day I have more.

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died
from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank Kool-aid made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because, WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day.

And we were OK.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes.

After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Play Stations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms........

WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell,
or just walked in and talked to them!

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team.

Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment.

Imagine that!!


The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of.

They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and
inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

If YOU are one of them. CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good.

While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!

Worth Reading

This is a little long, but so worth reading. I think this Dad speaks for many of us today.

http://digg.com/2008_us_elections/I_Didn_t_Vote_For_Obama_Today

(sorry you will need to cut and paste as for some reason, my links don't link!)

A Day For The History Books

I am not often happy to be asked if I am an American, but today is different. Today I would be proud to be mistaken for an American.

I am not going to discuss my politics here, but I will say is that I am so proud of the American people today. They turned out in record numbers to wait in long lines to cast their vote in what has to be one of the most memorable Presidential elections in history. Regardless of which side they voted for, the truly important thing is that the people voted.

This evening I sat and discussed the election with Aimee and tried to explain to her why today was so special and why she should be proud to be an American. I told her in years to come, her children and her children's children will study and learn that on November 4th, 2008, an African American man became President of the United States of America. I remember the excitement when Halle Berry and Denzel Washington won an Oscar. That was great, but Barack Obama; a black man winning the US Presidential Election truly is incredible.

There is still a long way to go in ridding the world of racism, but this is definitely a step in the right direction. As the wife and mother to members of an ethnic minority, I am overjoyed to see the world changing for the better. I am happy that my children are able to see history in the making and hope that their world is more peaceful because of it.

Once the celebrating is over, Obama has a huge job to do. I am sure he will do the American people proud, but he may just need to turn into a Super Hero to get the job done. I just loved this photo, I think he looks almost as good as my favorite SuperHero Batman!

Red Threads

I know I have mentioned this more than once over the past few months, but I LOVE living in China. I sincerely hope it stays that way, but sometimes I think maybe I am still in the honeymoon period. As stressful as it is moving to another country & culture, our move so far has been great. I still pinch myself almost every day because I cannot believe I am actually here. I am sure that the things that bother others about life here in China will eventually begin to get under my skin, but for now I am like a kid in a candy store – my eyes are wide, my chin has hit the floor and I stand frozen in wonder at all that Shanghai and China has to offer me.

One of the greatest joys of being here is finally having some time for me. As I have mentioned before I am involved with the orphan foundation, I have joined the American Women’s Club, I have made some great friends through our local FCC and the kid’s school and I recently started a digital photography class. Anyone that knows me, knows I don’t go anywhere without my trusty camera. Well, I am finally getting some lessons on how to take real pictures – that is out of fully automatic mode and into ‘the creative zone’. I am way out of my depth, but am slowly getting better. Photography is something I thoroughly enjoy and it feels so good to understand my camera a little better. I don’t suppose I will ever take on the masters, but for now I am happy. Actually, I am already looking at getting a new lens (not cheap), so I don’t suppose Richard will be too impressed.

Anyone who knows anything about China adoption knows the legend of the Red Thread.

An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstances.
The thread may stretch or tangle but will never break.

It is widely accepted in the adoption community that our children are connected to us by a red thread and no matter what the hurdles, we will eventually come together. This is also said of the people we meet during our journey to creating our family. We like to believe that what others may often call destiny, fate, coincidence, the six degrees of separation or the work of God; people are brought into our lives for a reason and that we are connected by this invisible red thread. During our adoption to Cadence and then Hansen, many red threads appeared and I have no doubt that the legend is true.

Now we are living in China, these red threads continue to weave a rich tapestry for me. The most recent of which goes back a number of years.

A few years ago (I honestly don’t remember how many), Steve (Richard’s brother) sent him a greeting card (I believe for his birthday) that had a black and white picture of two Chinese boys on it. The two boys were huddled close together, sitting on some steps and were happily laughing with each other. I fell in love with this card and have kept it since it reminded me of Richard & Steve. One of the boys has shorter, spiky hair and is wearing more casual sporty type clothing and shoes, whereas the other boy has flatter hair and is wearing a buttoned up jacket and lace- up type shoes. One looks like ‘Sporty Choi – Steve’ and the other looks like ‘Business Man(or Geeky) Choi – Richard’. I have often seen this picture, but for a long time I did not know who the photographer was.

Fast forward a number of years and you will find me in Shanghai with time on my hands. About six weeks ago, I received a note from the kid’s school to say the Parents Association had arranged a photo shoot for interested families with local Shanghai photographer Wang GangFeng. I couldn’t believe it, as I had previously discovered that GangFeng was the original photographer of the Choi boys look-a-like photo, he had also become my favorite photographer of China life. How cool was that? I could have my Choi kids photographed by the actual guy who had taken the greeting card shot and my own personal hero. Needless to say, I had signed up before even reading the small print, like how much it would cost to do. The photo shoot would take place on November 2nd.

Then a couple of days later I received a request from the orphan foundation to ask if I could help with a couple of fundraising activities. The first of which was the Eco-Design Fashion Show, which I have blogged about previously and the other was for a new photographer –Liam Liang. The new photographer had recently set up on his own and was looking to offer a portion of his fees to the Foundation. He just needed someone to reach out to the community to offer his services. How perfect! I got to help the babies and also make friends with a real photographer. I was thrilled. I immediately drafted an email and sent it to the local expat mama’s and the FCC group. Liam and I have been in email contact since then and hope to actually meet up and go walking and photo-taking around Shanghai together. This red thread was great, but what I also learned was that Liam used to be GangFeng’s assistant (weird!). Then if that wasn’t connection enough, it turned out that unbeknown to both of us, we were both at the Eco Design Fair. Liam was there to capture the fashion show on behalf of the designers and I was there on behalf of Aimee and the Foundation. Unfortunately, Liam and I did not know that we had both been there until the following day when we were both on an email distribution list of thanks –lol.

In the meantime, having joined the American’s Women Club, I also received an email with their happenings for the end of October. Imagine my delight when I saw that there was a walking tour of Shanghai’s old town with none other than Wang GangFeng. Richard and I signed up immediately, since how better to learn about Shanghai than through the eyes of the very man who had captured life here in China through his lens for the past 30 years.

The walking tour took place on Tuesday 28th October and I will blog about it separately later. It was wonderful and meeting GangFeng was a delight. He is such a sweet guy with a softly spoken voice and a wonderful element of mischief about him.

I know the above story took a while to explain, but I still find it incredible how the red threads weaved their way through the different social circles from me to GangFeng. I hope that in the coming months and years I get the opportunity to learn more from Gangfeng, not only about photography, but also about what his life was like growing up in Shanghai. I have seen his work and he has captured such amazing moments in time.

I will share a couple of his images here including the now infamous Choi Boy shot.

Who knew that Halloween could be so much fun in China?

Unfortunately, Richard was not able to be with us to celebrate since he had some high profile meetings with the Chinese Provincial Government in Nanning and would not be home until midnight (like the proverbial pumpkin).

Thankfully, the kids and I had been invited by our new good friends, Miss Cathy Sue and her beautiful daughters, Janna Mei & Jolene Fei (yes, you guess correctly Cathy Sue is from the South!) to spend the evening with them and some friends from our local FCC. At 4.30pm, I helped the kids dress into their costumes. One thing we had to consider this year, that we have never had to think about before, was wearing regular clothes under the costumes to keep warm. Back in Florida, I was always searching for something cool to wear, so no one got too hot, but this year it was all about keeping the kids warm, not easy in a skimpy polyester devil dress. For the past week or so it has been raining on and off, that dreary wet, yucky drizzle type rain that soaks you through, but I guess the kids constant prayers had paid off, because Friday night was perfect.

Once the kids were ‘dressed to thrill’, our driver, Xiao He (who seemed a little bemused by our attire) drove us to a local restaurant for an early dinner. It was quite amusing as we exited the car outside the restaurant. All over Shanghai there are small stalls selling flowers, watches, books and dvds on the street corners. The local dvd vendors outside the restaurant are our favorite and we have been a regular customers since our arrival back in July. As I got out the car, Jenny & friends (the vendors) said their usual ‘Hi!’, but it was when I was swiftly followed by a beautiful pirate, an impish devil girl and Ultraman, that the smiles and cheering broke out. They all thought it was great and told the kids how cool they looked. All this fuss caused the waitresses in the restaurant to be aware of our arrival and again, as we entered they all cheered and clapped and giggled at the crazy expat kids all dressed up. They then pointed us in the direction of our other crazy expat friends who had already arrived. Janna & Jojo were dressed as twin Hannah Montana’s, complete with blonde wigs, there was a butterfly, another pirate, a bunny rabbit, the most serene little Snow White I have ever seen, plus assorted pumpkins and princesses.









I had warned my kids that if they didn’t eat their dinner, there would be NO CANDY! They took me at my word and promptly inhaled their dinners, while the other kids were coaxed into eating or sitting at the table. Once everyone had arrived and eaten, and we could contain them no more, we hit the streets en masse. Again, the wait staff and the street vendors were giggling as we left. I guess we made quite the spectacle. The plan was that we would head to one of the expat compounds across the street, since they have a reputation for having a nice, safe and easy neighborhood for the kids (houses all on one level, short driveways and few cars around), plus they are known as giving out good candy! These are all important criteria when choosing a Trick ‘n’ Treating location for very young kids, who have no thoughts for road safety, but a narrow minded focus on ‘getting free candy’.

It is hard to describe the actual trick ’n’ treating. It was all quite surreal. Here we are in the middle of Shanghai, surrounded by families of varying countries all dressed in an assortment of costumes, knocking on doors answered by various nationalities, including quite a few Chinese ayi’s (maids) and being given US candy! The houses were decorated with pumpkins and ghosts, but on a smaller scale than we were used to in Florida, but still in a very American way. The kids loved it; they really had so much fun. They missed Daddy and more than once told me they wished how he could be here to have some fun too. We walked around for a little under two hours and were all exhausted by the time we found our way back to the compound front gates. I have to say it was a really fun evening, spent with some great new friends, but the words that describe it best are ‘simply surreal'. I should mention here that our Halloween experience in Shanghai is not how it is all over China. I remember last year with Joyce, back in the US - she thought it was incredible and she had never seen anything like it. I know I for one can’t wait until next year. Parenting is often times quite tough and we can get lost in simply living our lives, but it is evenings like tonight where you stop and take a breath. Nights like tonight are the ones that childhood memories should be filled with. There really is nothing more precious that sharing these moments with young children. I know they will soon be too grown up to be out with Mum, so I for one am cherishing these days.









We said a fond farewell to our assortment of friends and headed home tired and cranky. I had the forethought to take the candy booty bags off the kids in the car and told them we could have them back at home. I have been caught out more than once discovering an empty goody bag on arrival home, so I was not taking any chances. Of course, without the candy in their laps, their cranky moods were all the more apparent. However after a quick goodnight and Happy Halloween to our driver Xiao He, the frivolity and camaraderie returned as we headed to the dining table to check out our loot. The official counts were much less than in previous years (thank heavens), but the kids were thrilled with their treasure just the same. After a quick photo and bagging their candies into Ziploc bags with their names on, it was time for bed. Aimee kindly shared her some of her candy with Xiao He and had set aside a 'corn' flavored lollipop for her Dad. Hansen sweetly asked if he could sleep with his bag of candy, but I told him that ‘No! I was not born yesterday and that ALL the candy would be safe with me until the morning.’ He seemed to be okay with this, although Aimee wasn’t so sure (that kid knows how much I crave for Tootsie Rolls). By the time I had read them a story, they were all fast asleep. I headed upstairs too. Trick or treating is fun, but I fear I am getting too old for it. Thankfully, in a few more years the kids will be going alone – lol.

Life in China

is interesting to say the least.

There is simply so much going on in the World of We5Chois that it is getting harder to keep up and post. What I can tell you is that we are loving it here and wouldn't trade this opportunity for anything. Putting aside the health issues of living here, which honestly I am at a loss to really understand, life here is good. We are surrounded by good people and have been taken into the community like family.

Some of the recent highlights in no particular order are:

Being involved in the Eco Design Fair. This was a fairly small show put on in downtown Shanghai on Saturday to highlight the various eco-friendly products and companies here in Shanghai. Aimee and I were involved by association with our favorite children's foundation. One of the fashion designers participating in the show is a huge supporter of the foundation and had promised any monies raised during the Eco Fair would be donated to help fund future surgeries. As such and to help keep her overheads for the show to a minimum, she had asked for volunteers to model the clothes in the show. Even though Aimee can be extremely shy at times, she wanted to do this to help the babies. So without a second thought Aimee and I left the house at 7.30am (yes, I know, no one would expect that from me on a weekend) for an early morning dress rehearsal, followed by hair and makeup and the final live show at 12.30pm. In between times we managed to get breakfast at MacDonalds (in an eco-friendly style!) and find time for some shopping before heading back to wait for show time.

Needless to say from a completely biased viewpoint, Aimee looked stunning and made her Dad and me very proud as she strutted her stuff in front of the fairly large crowd. I was so proud of her: she was scared to do it, but she put the needs of others above her fears and truly did herself and her parents proud. After the show, we met up with Richard and the little ones for some lunch. The little ones thought Aimee was so cool being in a show and told her so throughout the afternoon. Even though it meant I missed my lie-in, it felt good to be doing something good for others. I took some photos, but since I am now learning to use my camera properly the results are not as good as I would have hoped. Thankfully, there was a professional photographer there who happened to catch a couple of good shots of Aims - America's Next Top Model.







After grabbing a quick bite to eat at a Japanese restaurant nearby (rice filled omelettes for all) we jumped in the car and headed for home. A quick costume change and we were back on the road. This time we were dressed to thrill (at least the kids were) and ready to party. The kids school were hosting a Halloween BBQ for the lower school kids and it was the social event of the year so far. Unfortunately, thanks to the rain, the event was held inside the gymnasium, but even the wet weather could not dampen the kids spirits (pun intended). For a solid 3 hours, we bounced, spooked, danced and played our hearts out. Thankfully there was limited candy around, but there was free food and drinks and more fun than could be had in one afternoon. Our whole family had such a fun time. it was so good to let our hair down and let of steam. Everyone at the school is so nice and our kids love it there. For a free event (okay I know we pay extortionate school fees) it was incredible. We all had enough to eat (a hot buffet)and drink, there was a live band, plenty of games and activities, a performance by the man of many masks - which was so cool and plenty of friends to share a good time with. it has to be one of my favorite family things so far. We came home exhausted but full of great memories of a good day. Boy, did we all sleep well that night.

More on the milk issue

I know my Mother is going to start really worrying about her precious (or should that be precocious?) grandkids, but don't panic mum. I am being responsible in a fairly British way.

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To help answer some of the questions parents are asking, I am posting Dr
Gordina's opinion from today on the China Milk Issue yahoo group. Please keep
in mind that this is her opinion and I am not telling anyone what to do about
their own situation. As parents we make the decisions that are right for our
own family. I just wanted to try and clarify some of the questions, that I am
constantly asked.

If you do not agree with me or Dr Gordina, then please just delete this message
and accept my apologies for sending this information. I have no problem with
parents that disagree with me (on the contrary, I like to hear other opinions
and I like to think about both sides) but I would ask that you do not flame me.
,
Best wishes,
Kim C



OMG, so many questions in so many threads ;-)!

I will try to express my views on testing and follow-up as short as
possible. Remember, some of my believes do go (at least for now)
against the AAP SOAFC and ASPN standpoints. Therefore, this is not a
policy statement, not an evidence-based recommendations, but just a
personal common sense, down-to-Earth realistic approach to how to
tackle the problem that ... nobody seems to really know how to deal
with.

1. Whom to test.

EVERY child, who was potentially exposed to melamine, regardless of
age, gender, and/or adoption status.

2. When was the exposure.

As we are now aware of the "secret" recall in 2006 and we can not
prove when and where this all had started, I would prefer to test
everybody who were potentially exposed (read - CAME FROM CHINA, not
born) on or after 01.01.2003. Why 2003? because Chinese are testing 5
yo and because we had a 5 yo testing positive for stones.

3. What about kids arrived/adopted before 2003?

As you can not prove to me beyond the reasonable doubt that the kid
was not exposed, every parent who has a question should have an
opportunity to comprehensively test their child(ren). The notion that
"82% of all affected were under two, therefore we will test only 1
year olds" does not and should not be a reason not to test.

4. What signs and symptoms to look for?

Please note, that symptoms below are very non-specific and can be
related not just exclusively to melamine exposure. Even more, we don't
know what is normal or abnormal for our adopted children. That's why I
am fighting so hard for comprehensive testing of all potentially
exposed children.

- unexplained failure to grow as expected or failure to have a
catch-up growth after adoption,
- unexplained crying,
- discomfort, associated with urination,
- vomiting,
- frequent unexplained fevers,
- urinary tract infections
- blood-stream infection or bacteremia
- any history of urinary obstruction
- blood in the urine, either seen by naked eye or detected by the
urineanalysis
- acute kidney failure
- stones discharged while passing urine
- elevated blood pressure
- edema - swelling of the eyes, ankles, etc
- back/kidney pain
- any other symptoms that are concerning you

5. What to do with the asymptomatic, but potentially exposed kids?

Test comprehensively and then - observe. They still have to be on
database and have the opportunity to be contacted if any new
information will become available.

6. What to do with asymptomatic kids with abnormal UA/blood results
and normal US?

Repeat US, review the films in the reputable radiology department of
the reputable university clinic with a reputable urology/nephrology
service. Close follow-up.

7. What to do with asymptomatic kids with normal UA/blood results and
a detected stone(s)?

Educate local physicians, contact nearest hospital with a reputable
urology/nephrology service. Most of the time after the initial
evaluation by a specialist, follow-up can be done distantly.

8. What to so with the test results (UA/bloodwork reports, US reports
and US films/CD's)

Keep the copies of all results. "Normal" would not work, you need the
printout report. If you doctor is doing UA's in his/her office, ask
for detailed break-down of all data (SG, Ph, etc), as we don't know
what exactly with be specific for the kidneys, exposed to melamine. It
is imperative to keep copies of the US reports, but I would also
recommend to keep copies of the US films/CD's, as films can be read
wrong or you will need the reference point if any changes will happen
in the future.

9. Where to go if you local and not so local hospital is not providing
you with the answers you need/

Good question. We do need a database of "melamine-friendly"
specialists, so we will have a reliable network.

Yes, you are free to cross-post and share the above information.

Thank you,
Alla Gordina, MD, FAAP
Clinical Assistant Professor of Pediatrics
Drexel University School of Medicine
Global Pediatrics
International Adoptions Medical Support Services
7 Auer Court, East Brunswick, NJ 08816, USA
732-432-7777 (voice)
732-432-9030 (fax)
www.globalpfm.com
drgordina @globalpediatrics.net

All China Adoptive Parents - Please Read!

I am posting this here in an attempt to get the message out to other families. If you are the parents of a child adopted from China since 2004, please take a moment to read this.
Kim C

--- In ChinaMilkIssue@yahoogroups.com, "drgordina" wrote:

With all the October meetings and deadlines over, I would like to
express my personal thoughts about the melamine situation.

We all on this list know that we do have an extremely worrisome
situation here. The major concern is that too many people are either
not aware or not accepting the reality of this problem.

Not all adoptive parents are seeking such evaluations. I had to
physically contact most of my Chinese adoptive families to make sure
that they will have testing done on their children.

Most of the general physicians are not aware of the proper
post-adoption evaluation in general, to say nothing about the
evaluation for the melamine exposure in particular.

The attitude "Why to test if we would not do anything anyhow" and "Why
to test if kid looks good" is painfully common. Some time ago I had a
bitter discussion with a infectious disease chief in one of the NJ
teaching hospitals, who refused to test a newly adopted kid from China
for Hep. C only because ... there were no approved treatment protocols.

AAP unfortunately is a slow-moving bureaucratic machine, that is
always late to respond, unless there is some political gain or special
interest group push. As melamine-exposed children are not voting yet
and they don't have any special interest group backing them, the
probability of the AAP swiftly responding to our concerns is pretty low.

At the present time there is no consensus among adoption
physicians-members of the AAP section on adoption and foster care. The
division comes along the "academia" and "practitioners" line, with
academic-based doctors being more conservative with evaluations and
practicing physicians (me included) advocating for complete testing of
every Chinese adoptee. How we can sort the things out without any
statistical review?

Somebody here said, that it is not good to use kids as gunea pigs. I
do not agree with such comparison. That would be a case, when the
exposure would continue despite the present knowledge and we would be
just observing the kids - what would happen. Kids were exposed, and we
do not know who, for how long and with what amount of the poison. We
don't know, what will happen to them and we have to have the means to
follow our kids, stones present or not. I had a case of a 3 mo old
baby, whose congenital stones were missed by the initial US and the
only cause for further evaluation was an abnormal urine test.

The lack of funding was cited at the AAP section on adoption meeting
in Boston as an excuse for not doing any research at all. Funding is a
big problem for academic facilities, because that's how they can
operate. But does that mean that all research is sponsored? No, a lot
of studies are done in the beginning as grass root projects. Think
about it, what this funding is needed for? To pay for somebody to
oversee the project, to develop the study design, to promote the
study, to go through the institutional review board approval process,
to do the testing itself, to do the data entry, to statistically
review the findings, to make the data presentable/publishable and (the
most important) - to travel to some fancy conference all expenses paid.

You, as concerned parents, do have a unique opportunity to make a
difference in your kids life. I would not believe that on this list
there is no 8-10 people who can form the initiative group for such
study. I bet here we have somebody versed in writing the proposals,
creating the safe on-line databases, providing statistical analysis
and so on. Insurances are supposed to pay for the testing, but if not,
as one of the parents said here - the cost is a small price to pay for
the piece of mind and the knowledge, that can help your kid or her
adopted peer.

So, if you are ready, you can count me in and I also can offer some
space on my website for the database.

Alla Gordina, MD, FAAP
Clinical Assistant Professor of Pediatrics
Drexel University School of Medicine
Global Pediatrics
International Adoptions Medical Support Services
7 Auer Court, East Brunswick, NJ 08816, USA
732-432-7777 (voice)
732-432-9030 (fax)
www.globalpfm.com
drgordina @globalpediatrics.net

Monkey & Male!?

You Are a Monkey

You are a very fascinating creature. People are interested in every little thing you do. You are smart, curious, and clever. You are naturally witty, and you have a great sense of humor. You can see things from many different angles, and you always have an interesting perspective on life. You are likely agile and playful. You stay physically fit simply by staying active.

What Animal Are You?

Your Surfing Habits are 70% Male, 30% Female

If we had to guess, we would guess that you are a man. You use the internet to make your life more efficient - and to make you smarter. For you, the internet is like a vast encyclopedia. You search and surf extensively. You look up everything online.

Do You Use the Internet Like a Man or a Woman?

Take My Breath Away... pt 2

cont'd...









We had heard that our home shipment was finally going to be delivered on Sunday (after almost 10 weeks), so Richard and I agreed that we didn’t want to do anything too much on Saturday. Instead we decided to take a stroll around Dong Tai Lu – this is a street filled with antique and curios stalls. I had been briefly on my tour of the subway system, but had wanted to take the family back for a proper look. It is an amazing little street filled with all sorts of relics (me included). I love the atmosphere and the stall holders are so sweet. None of them are pushy, instead they are all smiling and saying hello and even let me take photos of them. I love this area; it is so interesting and such a contrast to Xintiandi and the modern side of Shanghai. The people are so fascinating, I could just sit and people watch all day. One problem was negotiating the little narrow street with 3 small children – there are people on push-bikes, scooters, electric bikes, and small vans and trucks coming and going in all directions. I spent the first 5 minutes shouting at the kids to watch where they were going and to stay alert of their surroundings. I then had to eat humble pie as I turned to see an older lady on a pushbike heading straight towards me. I had nowhere to go and rather than avoid me, she simply stumbled off her bike and proceeded to chew me out in Chinese as she got back on board and headed off. I am still not sure how it was my fault since she was coming at me from behind, but hey, I am the visitor in this nation and I do not yet have the avoidance instinct that every Chinese person in Shanghai is born with. It is like watching a ballet watching the traffic here. How they avoid each other amazes me, they get so close and are headed in all directions, but they very rarely collide or even get upset. I have yet to see any real road rage, which is so different from being in South Florida, where it is everyman (or woman) for himself.







After Dong Tai Lu, we headed over the street to another area which contains the market and the wet market (fruit, vegetables, and meat). We decided not to go to deep inside the wet market building since the kids were with us and we didn’t want them seeing anything strange or scary. We did however; spend a long time wandering around with the locals looking at the market. I was one of maybe 5 or 6 westerners in the whole place, I really enjoy that. This is the China I have come to see and absorb. Everyone is full of smiles and the sights, sounds and smells are nothing like you have ever seen. One of the first curios we saw was a man selling snakes in a bag. I am not sure why and really didn’t get close enough to find out, but the kids thought it was awesome. To get a feel for the action, I had Richard video a little, since photos would never do the experience justice. It felt like we were treading water in an ocean that never stopped. There were waves of people walking and on scooters and bikes coming at us from all directions. It truly is amazing. In one area of the street market there were a lot of vendors on the pathway selling live crabs. Apparently they are in season right now and quite a delicacy. Seeing them clawing their way out of pots, buckets and plastic tubs was a little different to seeing the lobsters at the grocery stores in the US.



One of my favorite sights was the elderly man who was having the wax dug out of his ears by a (medical or barber) man in the street. I took his picture, but he was not happy about it. I told Richard that I am very respectful and conscious of people’s privacy, but hey I was not the one getting my ear cleaned out in the middle of a busy market place. If he wanted privacy, he really should rethink his choice of location.







At one point Richard and the two younger kids got ahead of Aimee and I. During this time, Aimee and I were watching the older men with the many small cans who had formed a line along the street. We couldn’t see what they were doing so went for a closer look. A small group of middle aged men took us under their wing and introduced us to the delights of crickets. There were hundreds of them of shapes and sizes, and apparently it was cricket fighting season. The locals buy their hopefuls and then they and their friends gamble on which cricket will win. Aimee and I liked listening to them and at first we thought they were selling them as pets. I guess we have watched too many episodes of Sawga, where the magistrate has the singing cricket. We caught up with Richard and the kids and told them all about our little chat with the men with their crickets. It really is wonderful how complete strangers take us into their world for a closer look. The experience our children are getting is amazing.







On the way back to meet Xiao He, we took a little detour through the pet market. We saw all kinds of animals and birds. There were tanks of brightly colored fish, a chipmunk, puppies, kittens, mice, and tons of turtles and birds. There was also a whole section dedicated to crickets. Our kids love all the fish and I am sure at some point we will have fish of our own. Now we no longer have a cat, I don’t have an excuse not to have them. Before we met Xiao He, we popped into a local store and picked up a couple of snacks and drinks and headed to the small public park to rest. Sitting in the park was so cool, the weather was perfect and the snacks and drinks hit the spot. Within a few minutes a little boy of about 3 years old had taken a shone to Aimee and was following her as she ran around with Hansen and Cadence. There were a few grandparents there with their little grandchildren getting some exercise. Again, even though we really can’t communicate, we somehow are taken in by these incredible people and they make us feel so welcome. They love to practice the little English they know and generally just hang close-by watching us and smiling. One thing I feel is completely inadequate in my Chinese language. I would so love to be able to talk more than a few words and learn more about their lives.













Soon enough it was time to go home. We called Xiao He and he came out of nowhere to collect us. As we said our farewells to the grandma and the little boy and loaded into the car, a man came to practice his diabolo juggling (that is the spinning cup/yoyo thing they throw in the air on a string between two sticks). Somehow he made it look very easy, but having tried to do it myself last year at Chinese summer camp I know it really is not easy at all.




Just before the kids went to bed, they and Richard sang Happy Birthday and presented me with my cards and a Moon Cake complete with chopsticks in-lieu of candles. Even though I had said I didn’t want anything, of course I was still spoiled. I got a couple of dvd’s, some beautiful drawings and handmade cards from the kids, and two gift cards to the local Massage Spa. I can now be manicured, pedicured and massaged to my heart’s content while the kids are in school. My final gift was the one that meant the most to me. It was a certificate from Richard for $420 ($10 for every year of my life) to be donated to a charity of my choice. Of course, I know exactly who that is going to.






All in all it was the perfect day. I have written 6 pages to journal the day and almost 600 photos to capture it, but what really matters is that I will remember in my heart forever.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.